Why i hate public restrooms

Whenever i go out I am forced to use a restroom that the general public will also use so i sometimes think about how dirty and disgusting my bathroom was and then i say to myself, do i really want to go in there? Sometimes i will risk arrest and just pee in the parking lot which is so often much more satisfying anyway for some reason. One of the things i hate the most is when I am at the urinal which hopefully isn't already overflowing with a days worth of salty smelling putrid yellow piss, is when someone will pee right next to me even if there are five empty spaces available. i always feel like the guy is trying to sneak a glance at my dick, which i will admit MAY have done but when someone looks at mine hopefully it is a girl, and she won't laugh or point at it with my her mouth agape. So if i feel like this is happening to me in the restroom, i start to talk to my cock as if  it is a real person with feelings. I will say something like "hey how is it going down there? Yeah rough day huh?" At first the guy next to me will say huh..excuse me are you talking to me?" To which i will reply, öi i am talking to my dick, do you mind?" Sometimes they will stop midstream and actually move over one or two spots away.